s t r e s s e d
overloaded; i needa lotta discipline!
YOU CAN DO IT JOLYNN! JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!
Strength.
t h e f i r s t s t e p i n t o g r a v e
what does the word ‘marriage’ means to you?
it used to mean ‘happily ever after’ and ’till death do us part’ in my opinion, but not anymore. all that’s left now are ‘lies’, ‘cheating’, ’sadness’ and ‘endless tears’ and ultimately ‘divorce’.
very pessimistic, i know. but when outta 8 of your uncles, 6 are divorced. when you saw your sister cried her guts out knowing that her husband had the intention to cheat on her. when you feel the pain your friends go through just to save their marriage and how tortured they are just by the fact that their parents are going through a divorce. when your sister tells you that she bumped into her father-in-law doing cny shopping with his china mistress (not forgetting to mention that he scolded his wife for bugging him to do cny shopping with her). when you repeatedly have old uncles at your counter splurging hundreds of dollars on their china mistress (and there’re so many times that i wish i was bold enough to ask them when was the last time they bought something for their wife; even if it was something that cost a couple of dollars, not to mention things that are worth hundreds of dollars). now you tell me, how can i still picture marriage like a fairytale? i’m totally losing faith.
a lotta people can argue that not all marriages ends up in a divorce. yes, its true, but saying the words ‘lets get a divorce’ has become as easy as us saying ‘dont friend you’ back in our primary school days. and a lot can say that not all partners cheat on one another; yet even brad pitt left jenifer aniston for angelina jolie, so tell me about it.
no matter what, still, there are risks. but the question is, are you willing to take the chances?
Ever Ever After?
P.S. 1) this post is just an output of a random thought that have been going through my head for a while, not targeted at anyone in particular, so no offence please. 2) as seen, above consist of rather private issues whitin my family which i really dont meant for them to go around. the only reason you see them its cause you’re very much trusted. :]
c a n t c r y h a r d e n o u g h
I’m gonna live my life
Like every day’s the last
Without a simple goodbye
It all goes by so fast
And now that you’ve gone
I can’t cry hard enough
No, I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now
Gonna open my eyes
And see for the first time
I let go of you like
A child letting go of his kite
There it goes, up in the sky
There it goes, beyond the clouds
For no reason why
I can’t cry hard enough
No, I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now
Gonna look back in vain
And see you standing there
When all that remains
Is an empty chair
And now that you’ve gone
I can’t cry hard enough
No, I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now
There it goes, up in the sky
There it goes, beyond the clouds
For no reason why
I can’t cry hard enough
No, I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now
And now that you’ve gone
I can’t cry hard enough
No, I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now
l i k e d u r i a n s ( 2 )
even friendship has become a seasonal thing.
l i f e i s a j o k e
at some point of our life, things dont go well and we feel as though god is playing a prank on us. but if we really do think about it, it’s all these obstacles that force us to grow up, to become the person we are now.
to darling, koey and man – “i wish i could do so much more for all of you, but all i can do is to pray for the dark clouds to go away real soon. stay strong! HUGS!”
And Reality is Cruel.
t h e f a m i l i a r s t r a n g e r
“i’ve always consoled myself by saying, ‘one day you’ll turn back and realise how far behind you’ve left me.’
but now i doubt this will ever happen. cause at the speed you’re walking away from me, even when you do eventually turn back one day, i would have been left too far behind for you to even notice. then, my presence will have been completely forgotten.
goodbye.”
a t t h e e d g e
“you dont know how hurt, or how upset i am; cause you’re not me, and you never will be.
you once said that you’ll never know, cause i dont tell you. and now that i did, over and over again, but what kinda difference did it made?
i love you so much, so much that i’ve given you beyond what i’m able to. but still the bottom line remains; i’m a nobody to you.
today i’m gonna give myself the free pass to cry my eyes out over you. and after today, not a single tears anymore.
happy birthday.”
The Tears I No Longer Wanna Shed.
c a n t t a k e i t n o m o r e
guess what?
i totally had enough! i cant fucking please everyone okay? so do what you want, cause i really couldnt care more!
oh yah, can you also do me a very big favour? trying to organise something big next time where every single one wants you to do something to suit them.
maybe then you’ll totally understand how i feel.
Jolynn
