J O L Y N N -

n e e d v s w a n t

j o l y n n — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 12:06:20 +0000

i find myself alone more often than not; i feel sorry for myself sometimes.

yes, i have family. but my sister is the only one i really talk to. but she has her own family; with a whole load of issues to deal with. i really dont think i shoulld be taking up her time.

yes, i have friends; a lot of them actually, made up of a fair share of close friends and acquaintances. but they have their own life, i really dont think i should be disturbing. plus, i really dont want them to be that kinda friend who goes to them only when i’m alone.

yes, i have a boyfriend; one who isnt around most of the time. it’s not his fault, and i dont blame him at all, cause i know he feels so bad about it as well. it’s the very same reason why i hafta hide this loneliness from him, cause i dont want him to feel any worse, i dont want him to worry.

be it family, friends or boyfriend, i know that they love me loads. if i jolly well ask, i know they would do their best to be here with me. but the problem is, i dont ask. i just cant, cause i really hate to bother people, hate to be a burden to anyone. so ultimately, i am the culprit for my own sorry state.

people says that i’m dependent, i suppose they really dont know me well. but behind all these independence, i still need someone. i just learn not to want.

i m i s s y o u m u c h

j o l y n n — Sun, 27 Feb 2011 16:26:57 +0000

i wish i didnt hafta always hold back the tears.
i wish you could be right here, right now.
i wish we didnt hafta go through this phase.

but i just cant cry in front of you, and neither can i say “i wish you werent in OCS”. cause i know how sorry it will all make you feel; to have me caught in sucha situation.

but tonight i just wanna curl up in my empty bed and cry. weak i know; i’m sorry.

f u c k e m o

j o l y n n — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 15:52:16 +0000

it just no longer feels the same.

is it just me? or is it really happening?

only 3 weeks into the 38 weeks and 3 months into the 22 months. sometimes i really dont feel confident.

fuck this emo-ness. FUCK.

h a v e y o u e v e r

j o l y n n — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 16:19:19 +0000

cause you dont know how it feels like, to be lying on your
own side of e bed, sobbing away alone.

f r i e n d s

j o l y n n — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 16:06:09 +0000

sometimes, it’s just so hard to satisy everyone.
why cant we be like the way we used to be?
it hurts to know that we’re drifting apart.

委屈

j o l y n n — Sun, 26 Dec 2010 16:48:38 +0000

my heart stops beating, and i go breatheless; as if a part of me has taken its leave. it has always been this way, every single time issues occurs between us; exactly the way you left me, the day you wanted out from my life.

i just want you to be happy. i just want to keep us going. i’m doing everything that i can, not that you’re not, i know that you are; i know it, i appreciate it, and i love it.

but sometimes, it’s as if i don’t know you at all. or is it me that’s still not good enough?

As soon as forever is through, i’ll be over you.

l i f e

j o l y n n — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 08:15:37 +0000

i hate it that my world always revolves around you.

h a u n t e d

j o l y n n — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 18:28:46 +0000

i realised i’ve never got over that haunting nightmare; even after so long.

i feel myself trembling all over; i’m scared.

You’re the best thing that’s ever been mine.

b u t t e r f l i e s i n m y s t o m a c h

j o l y n n — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 07:48:28 +0000

as the day gets nearer and nearer, i find it harder and harder to breathe; nervous breakdown!

counting down; 2 days.

on a side note, i’m DYING to drink KOI!

t o r t u r e

j o l y n n — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 14:49:26 +0000

low carb diet is killing me!

I NEED POTATOES!

5 days; counting down.